Championship: Twice a Bridesmaid, Finally the Bride

Championship: Twice a Bridesmaid, Finally the Bride

Fly Eagles Fly had fallen just short in the championship game for the past two years, but they finally crossed the threshhold and claimed their first championship.

The Eagles romped through the playoff by getting in touch with their Gurley side.  Todd Gurley put on a truly historic performance, amassing the more points in weeks 14-16 than any other player EVER.  Gurley’s 94.62 points in weeks 15 and 16 alone were 57% higher than this year’s number 2 scorer in that time frame (Kareem Hunt).

The Eagles’ victory was no playoff matchup fluke as they put up the top score in the league during both the semifinals and the championship week.

McCaffeinated never quite recaptured their early season dominance and couldn’t overcome the loss of Antonio Brown for the championship game.  Kareem Hunt and Blake Bortles kept the score respectable, but in the end, the game was not close.

Llamageddon, led by Melvin Gordon, scored the 2nd most points of the week to outlast Plan XVII and capture third place.

The total points race lacked suspense as Fly Eagles Fly and McCaffeinated easily held onto their positions in 1st and 2nd place.

Final Accounting

Name Points Weeks Won Weekly Winnings Total Points payout Playoff Payout Net profit/ loss after $75 fee
Jason 2402.86 5  $ 50.00  $       75.00  $250.00  $   300.00
Matt 2325.78 4  $ 40.00  $       40.00  $150.00  $   155.00
Chris 2266.38 2  $ 20.00  $  75.00  $     20.00
Terry 2223.78 3  $ 30.00  $    (45.00)
Doug 2103.24 1  $ 10.00    $    (65.00)
Adam 2016.70 1  $ 10.00  $    (65.00)
Dmitry 1833.10 0  $       –  $    (75.00)
Scott 1827.02 0  $       –  $    (75.00)
Spencer 1780.42 0  $       –  $    (75.00)
Anand 1752.12 0  $       –  $    (75.00)

By taking the last two weeks of the season, Jason completed a sweep of the payouts, getting the most weeks won, most points and the championship game.  Netting a cool $300 profit

Matt came in number two across the board, with 4 weekly wins, and 2nd place for points and the playoffs.  He nets $155.

My third place finish means I profit by my 2 weekly wins for a net $20

Terry’s 3 weekly wins give him a net loss of only $45

Adam and Doug each won a week so they will owe $65.  Dmitry, Scott, Spencer and Anand will each owe the full $75.

Given the net numbers, the easiest way to handle the finances is as follows:

  • Dmitry, Scott, Spencer, Anand pay their $75 to Jason.
  • The two who owe $65 (Doug, Adam)  pay Matt
  • Terry pays $25 to Matt, $20 to Chris.

Let me know if there’s any questions.

******

Congrats to Jason on a well earned victory, and thanks everyone for a fun year!

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Semis: Eagles Fly, Caffeine Buzzes into Final

Semis: Eagles Fly, Caffeine Buzzes into Final

Pictured:  Todd Gurley has Jason and the Eagles PUMPED UP for the opportunity to choke in the championship game for the 3rd year in a row.

Championship Playoffs

The top two teams from throughout the season will clash in next week’s superbowl. #1 seed McCaffeinated edged out the late charging Plan XVII, while #2 seed Fly Eagles Fly continued their late season domination with a punishing defeat of the reeling Llamageddon.

Fly Eagles Fly rode huge games from Cam Newton and Todd Gurley to an easy victory over the Llamas Lambs to claim the first spot in the championship game.  A big game from Melvin Gordon on Saturday gave the Llamas a glimmer of hope, but the Eagles quickly showed the form that made them the hottest team in the last half of the season.

McCaffeinated wasn’t nearly as dominating as the Eagles, but the resurgence of Kareem Hunt was enough to build an early lead, and a big game from Rob Gronkowski helped overcome an early exit by Antonio Brown to seal the deal.  Plan XVII’s attempt to win the championship ended like most French Military campaigns – with surrender.

McCaffeinated will definitely be challenged heading into the final as they appear to have lost Antonio Brown and Rex Burkhead – both week 15 starters – to injury.  But Jason has been the favorite going into the last two championship games and still managed to find a way to lose them both, so there is still hope for the Caffeine Crowd.

Llamageddon and Plan XVII still have plenty to play for as they will face off for 3rd place money.

For total points, Jason has about a 50 point lead over Matt who has about a 60 point lead over me, so barring something very crazy, Jason will probably take top points and Matt will get the number 2 spot.

Consolation Bracket

Chaos theory has a concept known as the Butterfly Effect.  This is based on a saying that goes something like “a butterfly flapping its wings in China can cause a tornado in Texas”.  Small, seemingly insignificant events can have major impacts at a later time.

horseshoes-and-handgrenades
Close doesn’t count in Fantasy Football

With that in mind, let’s take a look back at Week 1.  Terry had  a choice between the two quarterbacks he drafted, both established veterans and both named Matt.  He ended up choosing defending league MVP Matt Ryan, who scored 19.94 points (a respectable total) in what ended up being a 6 point loss to Scott.  However, sitting on his bench was Matt Stafford who scored over 35 points.

Starting Stafford over Ryan would have been enough to win that week 1 game.

Winning that one extra game would have been enough for Terry to sneak into the playoffs as the #5 seed.

His score last week was tops in the league, so he obviously would have defeated Doug in the wildcard game.

His score of 158+ was second highest in the league and would have defeated Matt this week in the semifinals and would have put Terry into the championship game against Jason.

But the butterfly flapped its wings and Terry picked Ryan over Stafford so now Terry and the red hot Breaking Wind (Ooh, probably a poor choice of words there.) plays out the string in the consolation Final, fighting for 6th place where he’ll face Dmitry

The 8th place game pits Scott against Spencer –  neither of whom managed to top 85 points this week.

 

Wildcard Round: Everything According to Plan (17)

Wildcard Round:  Everything According to Plan (17)

Wildcard Round:

#4 Plan XVII 144.94, #5 Make The Redskins Great Again 106.52

In a game that was neck and neck through the Sunday afternoon action, the first round of the playoffs is complete with Plan XVII pulling away late for a comfortable victory over Make the Redskins Great Again.  Both teams tried to put their best foot forward on Thursday night but Plan XVII’s Drew Brees and Matt Bryant and MTRGA’s Devonta Freeman and Mark Ingram played to a near draw. The Redskins pulled ahead early on Sunday, but Plan Dix-Sept started climbing back in it and eventually took the lead behind WRs Adam Theilen, Keenan Allen, and Doug Baldwin.  Going into the final prime time games, it was still fairly close, but LeVeon Bell iced the contest with a huge game on Sunday Night in Baltimore, effectively putting the contest out of reach.  In the end, the Redskins looked like the Redskins again, stumbling down the stretch and collapsing when it meant the most.

Next week: Semifinals

#4 Plan XVII vs. #1 McCaffeinated

#3 Llamageddon vs #2 Fly Eagles Fly

 

Consolation Bracket

In the consolation 10th place game, it seemed only fitting that McCownasty would go out with a wimper.  Their 60.52 points was the lowest total in the league this season by nearly 15 points.

Next Week: Consolation Semis

#6 Breaking Wind vs. #9 Magic Mike Evans

#7 Fournettecation vs. #8 pUSHing chains

 

In Other Action

Scoring the 2nd most points in the league over the last half of the season, Breaking Wind was “that team nobody wants to meet in the playoffs,” and an uncharacteristic stumble in week 13 made that wish a reality.  In week 14, with nothing to play for, they showed why teams didn’t want to face them as they took the top score of the week for the 3rd time this season.

In the race for total points, Jason was able to reclaim the lead over Matt by just under 20 points.  Chris hangs on in third place, just within striking distance, about 50 points behind Matt.  Even if he were to get the top score the last two weeks, Terry probably can’t make up the nearly 100 points to move into 2nd to finish in the money.

Week 12: Nasty win, Prep for the Playoffs

Week 12: Nasty win, Prep for the Playoffs

Pictured:   The Llamas are ashamed to show their faces after losing to McCownasty.

 

One.

That’s how many times McCownasty has outscored Llamageddon this year. So of course it was in a week the two teams played each other.  Through various ups and downs by both teams, there were two things you could count on for 11 weeks. One was that McCownasty would find a way to lose, and the second was that the Llamas would outscore them.  But the Nasty Boyz finally put all the pieces together in week 12 and finally scored more than the playoff-bound Llamageddon, earning their first win of the season

Standings Through Week 12

Team Record
McCaffeinated 10-2
Fly Eagles Fly 9-3
Llamageddon 9-3
Plan XVII 8-4
Breaking Wind 6-6
Make the Redskins Great Again 6-6
Fournettecation 5-7
Magic Mike Evans 3-9
pUSHing Chains 3-9
McCownasty 1-11

Week 13 Playoff Scenarios

whos_on_firstI’ve worked this through as best I can, and I think I’ve considered all the relevant possibilities, but I make no guarantee that it is 100% correct.  Four of the 5 games this week have potential playoff implications.

Since there is no effective distinction, I won’t get into scenarios that differentiate between #2 vs. #3 seed and #4 vs #5 seed.  This just focuses on #1 seed, 1st round Bye, and In/out of playoffs.

  • McCaffeinated
    • Has clinched 1st round bye.
    • Clinches #1 seed with:
      • Win or Tie
  • Fly Eagles Fly
    • Has clinched playoff berth
    • Clinches #1 seed with:
      • Win AND McCaffeinated Loss
    • Can clinch 1st round bye with:
      • Win or Tie
      • OR Llamageddon Loss
      • OR Plan XVII Loss or Tie
  • Llamageddon
    • Has clinched playoff berth
    • Clinches #1 seed with:
      • Win AND Fly Eagles Fly Loss or Tie
    • Clinches 1st round bye with:
      • Win or Tie
      • OR Loss or Tie by Plan XVII
      • OR Win or Tie by Fly Eagles Fly AND stay ahead of Plan XVII in total points (currently +146.82).
  • Plan XVII
    • Has clinched playoff berth
    • Clinches 1st round bye with:
      • Win AND Loss by Fly Eagles Fly
      • OR Win AND Loss by Llamageddon AND pass LLamageddon in total points (currently -146.82 points).
  • Breaking Wind
    • Clinches playoff berth with:
      • Win
      • OR Make the Redskins Great Again Loss
      • OR Tie AND Make the Redskins Great Again Tie
  • Make The Redskins Great Again
    • Clinches playoff berth with:
      • Win AND Breaking Wind Loss or Tie;
      • OR Tie AND Breaking Wind Loss
  • Fournettecation
    • Eliminated from playoffs as they lose potential 3-way Head-to-Head tiebreaker for 5th with Breaking Wind and Make the Redskins Great Again
  • Magic Mike Evans
    • Eliminated from playoffs
  • pUSHing Chains
    • Eliminated from playoffs
  • McCownasty
    • Eliminated from playoffs

 

Remember, total points and weekly high score contests continue through week 16, so keep maximizing your lineup even if your team is eliminated from the playoffs, locked into seeding position, or on a bye.  Ten bucks is Ten bucks. And for gods’s sake, Anand almost won last week.

Potential Tiebreaker Summary

Another way of looking at the scenarios…

@ 10 wins:  Jason > Chris > Matt;  Chris > Matt; Jason > Matt

@9 wins:  Doug > Jason > Chris;  Doug > Jason;  Chris > Doug*

@6-7 wins:  Terry > Adam; Terry > Adam > Scott

*assumes Chris retains total point advantage (+146.82)

Current Total Points Leaders
(4 weeks remaining)

  1. Jason 1789.68
  2. Matt 1739.94
  3. Chris 1727.96
  4. Terry 1657.32
  5. Doug 1581.14

Weekly Win Summary Through Week 12

Matt – 3
Jason – 3
Chris – 2
Terry – 2
Adam – 1
Doug – 1

 

Week 8: Tricks and Treats

Week 8: Tricks and Treats

Just another quiet week in the NFL, right?

Juju Martavis
This punk-ass M-F’er stole my bike.  So I stole his job.

It started off with Martavis Bryant making statements on social media that apparently thinks he’s better than teammate Juju Smith-Schuster and that the Steelers should be throwing him even more balls to drop this season or trade him to some other team that will.  Rumors also started to fly that Bryant was perhaps responsible for stealing the bicycle that Smith-Schuster uses for his primary transportation. That whole episode promptly got Bryant sent to the bench for the week.  The Thursday game gave us a scoring explosion from the previously hapless Ravens that had Dolphins coach Adam Gase criticizing “top players” who weren’t studying the playbook (more on that later).  We had 6 teams on a bye and the first big weekend of bad weather games across the eastern seaboard, that was keeping scoring down across the league.  Then Seattle and Houston had perhaps the game of the year in a high-flying back-and-forth shootout that accounted for nearly 25% of all the TDs during the standard afternoon (1:00-7:00) slate of games on the Red Zone channel.  Then JuJu Smith-Schuster made his own statement by going for 193 yards and a touchdown on Sunday Night Football

 

 

Then things got real crazy.  Houston flew back home after their big game, and then promptly sent their left tackle back to the Pacific Northwest in the first of some crazy trade-deadline action. Patriots backup Jimmy Garappolo got traded to San Francisco. Oh, hey look! Ezekiel Elliot’s suspension got reinstated.  Then the Dolphins traded Jay Ajayi (one of their “top players,” no doubt) to Philly. Rumors were surfacing that teams were trying to trade for retired WRs Calvin Johnson and Anquan Boldin. Jarvis Landry, Matt Forte, TY Hilton and Frank Gore were the subject of trade speculation, the Jets traded a 5th round pick for a corner who couldn’t start for one of the worst pass defenses in the league (Jets gonna Jets). Then the Panthers traded their one semi-proven wide receiver, Kelvin Benjamin, to the Bills three minutes before the trade deadline.

GPODAWUND
Browns keep doing Browns things

But the best was that 5 minutes before the deadline, the Browns had to make sure they staked their claim as the laughingstock of the league, as they agreed to trade for Cincinatti

AJ McCarron Katherine Webb
AJ McCarron says he’s “Blessed” after non-trade to Cleveland.  I bet Brent Musburger still agrees.

 backup QB AJ McCarron, but never bothered to call it in to league offices before the deadline, reportedly because they were celebrating the trade (Browns gonna Browns).  And somewhere in there, the Giants suspended their best cornerback defender healthy player Janoris Jenkins for unspecified reasons (but probably because their coach is in over his head)

 

Buoyed by the Seattle-Houston game, average scoring stayed about the same in the league this week but with a much wider range.   Three teams scored more than last week’s high score, but the other 6 teams failed to top 117 points

We finally got a new team at the top of the total points standings as the Llamas rode the second highest score in the league this year to to top spot with McCaffeinated and Fly Eagles Fly not too far behind.  But that lead will probably not be long-lived with Elliot’s suspension kicking in (again, for now, but probably for good)

Llamageddon 195.88, McCownasty 90.64

jujubes
After the big game by Smith-Schuster, it might be time to consider a new team name

Once the afternoon games kicked in, this game turned into a laugher.  After the 1:00 games were done, the score was extremely close and both teams had a few players left.  The Llamas’ four players (Russell Wilson-43.08, JuJu Smith-Schuster 32.3, Ezekiel Elliot-26.4, and Tyler Lockett 17.9) scored nearly 120 points.  The three remaining Nasty players (Tyreek Hill-3.8, Jesse James-6.2 and the Denver Defense-5.0) scored only 15 points allowing Llamageddon to more than double McCownasty’s total score.

 

 

Fly Eagles Fly 166.66, Fournettecation 80.70

throat punch thursdayThis is the second game where the winner more than doubled the score of their opponent.  Every once in a while I glance at the auto-generated game recaps on the league site and the one for this game had an interesting title:  “Fly Eagles Fly Throat-Punches Fournettecation to Move into 3rd Place.”  Throat-punches?  I didn’t even know throat-punch was a thing, but apparently there’s memes about it and it seems like “Throat-punch Thursday” is a thing of its own.  Who knew?! For the Eagles, Deandre Hopkins caught a big piece of that Seattle Houston action with over 36 points, Jerick McKinnon punished the winless Browns, and the Eagles Defense abused the winless 49ers. After a fast start to the season, Fournettecation has been reeling of late, failing to top 90 points since week 5.

pUSHing Chains 116.52, Plan XVII 109.46

In the first of three very tight games, Adam Thielen got Plan XVII’s Sunday off to a good start with a decent performance from Merry Old England.  However, nobody else really took off and the Chain gang quickly made up that ground in the early afternoon session.  After that the two teams went back and forth all day.  Each team had one player left going into the Sunday night game where pUSHing Chains’ Golden Tate was able to hold off Plan 17’s LeVeon Bell.

Breaking Wind 157.66, Magic Mike Evans 154.98

Magic Mike got off to a fast start with a monster 2-TD performance from the Baltimore defense.  With a big game from Will Fuller and Jimmy Graham (there’s that Seattle-Houston game again) they managed to extend that lead a little by the end of the afternoon games on Sunday, but at that point they were out of players, while Breaking Wind still had the Kansas City Defense and kicker.  In a shocking Monday night rally Breaking wind got 21 points from each of those remaining bit-players to claim the narrow victory.

Game of the Week
McCaffeinated 113.92, Make the Redskins Great Again 112.18

MTRGA jumped out to a lead before the 1:00 game started and started to build on that lead early Sunday afternoon, but then went into a funk as several key players underperformed.  at that time McCaffeinate made their big move as Mohammed Sanu and Rob Gronkowski had decent outings, but by 4:00 they had stalled too.  McCaffeinated built a decent lead by the end of the Sunday night game and things looked good with Kareem Hunt and Demaryius Thomas still to play.  But the Redskins had Alex Smith and Travis Kelce still to play and when they hooked up for an early TD on Monday night it was suddenly a dogfight.  Both teams went at it all night but neither could pull away.  The Redskins finally pulled ahead late in the 4th quarter, but some clock-killing runs by Hunt were just enough to claim the win, by the closest margin of victory since week 1.

 

 

 

Week 7: The Alpacalypse is Upon Us!

Week 7:   The Alpacalypse is Upon Us!
llama turn and stare
Take Me To Your Lleader!

Undefeated opponent?  No probllama!

At llong llast, Matt’s reign of terror at the top of the standings has been ended.  The Llamageddon is here.  The Llamas knocked off the previously unbeaten McCaffeinated to claim the top spot in the standings.  it not only was the first defeat for McCafe, but the first time anyone scored more than 110 points (and change) against them, and the Coffee Crew wilted under their first real challenge of the year.

With both teams now 6-1 at the top of the standings, a week 13 rematch could be critical for final playoff positioning.

After the top two teams, there is a 2 game gap before a llogjam of 4 teams fighting for 3rd through 6th place, with another team within 1 game of that group  A couple weeks ago there seemed to be a clear split between top 5 and bottom 5 teams, but things change quickly as several of the early lleaders have slipped and several of the early stragglers have rallied of llate.  The race for the final playoff spots could be intense.

We had another new claimant to the top score of the week with Breaking Wind edging out the Llamas by .56 points.  The Llamas held the llead with 2 minutes lleft on monday night, but then a combination of a missed Jake Elliot field goal followed by a -3 yard catch and a useless 15 yards scamper on 3rd and 25 by Chris Thompson were just enough garbage-time work for things to break the way of the Gasesous Ones. (For the record, I’m waiting for the official stat corrections to come out tomorrow before I consider this final.  Some of those “passes” to Thompson llooked llike they might have gone backwards.)

Having claimed his 3rd top weekly score llast week, Matt still holds the llead in overall points.  Only 2 other teams are within 150 points of first, so the field for total points may be thinning out rapidly

Plan XVII 138.14, Fournettecation 88.3

Plan 17 jumped out to an early llead on Sunday, and continued to pull away for an easy victory.  Drew Brees, Doug Baldwin and LleVeon Bell lled Plan 17 to their 4th win and 2nd win in a row.  Fournettecation is still reeling from the injury to QB Aaron Rodgers.  Not that Rodgers was on their team, but his injury seeming killed any value Ty Montgomery, Jordy Nelson and Martellus Bennett might have had.  Combine that with a short-term injury to the team namesake Lleonard Fournette, and it was too much to overcome.  Fournettecation drops their 2nd straight matchup to drop to 4-3, but tiebreakers have them currently in 6th place and out of the playoffs if the season ended today.

Breaking Wind 154.82, Make the Redskins Great Again 121.48

Breaking Wind overcame a goose-egg from the Chiefs defense on Thursday night to take top scoring honors for the week and a victory over MTRGA.  LleSean McCoy and Jarvis Llandry lled the Windy ones but it was the depth of scoring that made the difference as no one other than the Chiefs scored lless than 9.9 points.  The Redskins’ Alex Smith was the top scorer in the game, but a total of only 22.5 points from four WRs doomed them.  “Underperforming Redskin Wide Receivers” seem to be kind of a thing this year *cough*pryor*cough*crowder*cough*.  Even with a two game win streak, the Windbreakers are only in 9th place while the Redskins cling to 3rd overall despite a 2 game llosing streak.

terry adam standings
Bad Breaks:  Two more points for, one less point against, yet Terry is in 9th place, while Adam is in 3rd.

Magic Mike Evans 138.92, McCownasty 114.06

amari Cooper missingAmari Cooper is Alive and Well!   After going into hiding for five straight weeks, Cooper exploded on the scene for a whopping 44 points to get things started off right for Magic Mike. Really no one other than team mascot Mike Evans and kicker (kicker!) Chris Boswell had notable performances, but Cooper’s big day was plenty to hold off the cellar-dwelling McCownasties.

 

Llamageddon 154.26, McCaffeinated 131.76

approaching llamas
We’re coming for you.

The battle of the top two teams was neck and neck for most of the weekend, but the Llamas had too much in reserve on Monday Night as they pulled away for their 6th straight victory and knocked McCaffeinated out of the top spot in the standings for the first time this year.  The Llamas got over 70 points from Ezekiel Elliot and Russell Wilson, which was enough to overcome llackluster performances up and down the llineup.  Dak Prescot actually outperformed Wilson, but the Barristas had no answer for Elliot’s big game.

Game of the Week
Fly Eagles Fly 134.84, pUSHing Chains 130.48

Derek Carr and Michael Crabtree got the Chains moving in the right direction on Thursday Night, but the Eagles came flying back on Sunday to take the llead behind Todd Gurley and Julio Jones.  Pushing Chains made a valiant attempt at a comeback with Jordan Reed exploding for two touchdowns but the Eagles Defense and Alshon Jeffery’s measly 5 points were just enough to hold off the llate charge.

 

 

 

Week 5: Oh hell, Odell

Week 5:  Oh hell, Odell

Better late than never, right?

Scoring was oddly compressed this week as we had the lowest high score of the year (154.04) and one of the highest low scores of the year (99.28) for a range of less than 55 points.  (Yet we still managed to have a 50 point blowout).  Overall scoring was down a little bit, but that’s not unexpected with the bye weeks kicking in.

We’re starting to see some separation between the top five and bottom five teams in the standings.  The top five teams by record are also the top 5 by total points, and perhaps more telling, the gap in total points between 5th and 6th place is over 65 points – the biggest gap between any two positions.  After opening up a nearly 100 point lead over 2nd place in weeks 1-2, Matt’s continually falling scores are allowing the pack to whittle away at that lead to where it’s now only 34 points.

It’s probably not a coincidence that several of the biggest injuries have befallen the teams struggling to keep pace, because top level production is hard to replace.

For the 3rd week in a row we had a new winner of the weekly top score (Adam).  We still have one unbeaten team and we’re down to two winless teams.  (Hmmm… Maybe I’ll add a poll about that!)  It’s still  possible that any team could make a move, get on a run, and sneak into the playoffs.  My expectation from the beginning was that a 7-6 team will likely get in.  But time is quickly running out for several squads.

Oh, and Zeke just got re-suspended, so I’m probably gonna be heading towards that bottom 5 real soon, opening the door for someone to move up

Llamageddon 150.82, Plan XV11 99.28

A late surge by TE Cameron Brate gave the 17ers a healthy cushion after the Thursday game, but it was pretty much downhill from there.  The biggest culprit was Big Ben Roethlisberger, who surrendered five interceptions on his way to a sub-3 point clunker but several other big name players fell short of expectations.  Melvin Gordon and AJ Green had big games for the Alpacalypse, overcoming a 1 point game from Davante Parker who left the game early with an injury to post the biggest blowout of the week.

Let’s relive that Steeler meltdown again…

 

Fournettecation 147.36, McCownasty 116.22

Led yet again by their namesake Fournettecation slowly and steadily pulled away from McCownasty to record their 4th win of the year.  Jameis Winston and Chris Hogan also had good games, but this was more about the Nasty performances from some big-name players on the other side.  With only one player topping 15 points, it was going to be tough to beat anyone.  It didn’t help that McCownasty benched Carson Wentz, who scored more than double the top starter with over 35 points.  It would have even been better to start team namesake Josh McCown (17+pts) instead of Tom Brady

Vince Lombardi, when he hears that the Jets’ Josh McCown outscored Tom Brady:

Make the Redskins Great Again 154.04, Fly Eagles Fly 133.80

Finally, MTRGA were not involved in the closest game of the week. This week it was like a sports talk radio show where “Aaron from Wisconsin” steals the show.  Green Bay’s Aaron Rodgers and Aaron Jones put on a dominating performance against Dallas to pace the Redskins along with TY Hilton.  Cam Newton led the Eagles with over 30 points, but there just wasn’t enough solid scoring behind him to keep pace as MTRGA scored the most points in the league this week.

Magic Mike Evans 131.62, pUSHing chains 120.62

odell ankle
That part definitely ain’t supposed to be facing that way.

Philip Rivers and Davante Adams shined as Magic Mike Evans notched their first victory of the season against pUSHing chains.  Despite getting less than two points from both Tarik Cohen and Amari Cooper, Mike and Co. managed to pull a rabbit out of their hat. The pUSHers were led by Odell Beckham Jr. but lost him for the season to a late-game ankle mangling.  The Seattle Defense had  a nice game with 17 points, but it came at an even bigger expense to QB Jared Goff who could not muster even 8 points against that defense.  With each team starting Bears RBs, there was an outside chance that of some drama on Monday night, but neither pUSHing chains’ Jordan Howard nor Magic Mike’s Tarik Cohen did enough to even make it mildly interesting.

 

McCaffeinated 118.94, Breaking Wind 110.06

Breaking Bad has become Breaking Wind, but it seems things are only breaking worse, as the team remains winless on the season.  McCaffeinated continues its’ stunning week to week drop in scoring, yet somehow faces an opponent scoring at or near the bottom of the league to remain atop the standings at 5-0.  McCafe was led by a huge game from Dak Prescott and a nice showing from Antonio Brown, one of the few non-Jaguars to catch passes from Ben Roethlisberger. But a zero at TE from Evan Engram and several players in single digits left them with one of the lowest scores of the week.  But they had the good fortune to be playing the second lowest scoring team.  Breaking Wind put up a stinker this week with no player able to hit 20 points.  At 0-5 they’ll need to step on the gas if they want to have a shot at the playoffs.   Their best non-quarterback was Buck Allen who was silent but deadly on the bench.  Green Bay kicker Mason Crosby whiffed on two separate point-after attempts.  It might be time to cut the cheese-head and pick up a new kicker

Breaking out the Breaking Wind Cheer: