Pictured: Simba and Anand just want the King to get up
Football is back, bigger and better than ever. With four new teams it’s a whole new world for our league. That may have been a bad idea for us hold-overs as the only new player to not win their first game was when two new teams played each other. Time will tell how things shake out, but was a rather inauspicious start for the old guard.
With new roster alignment we’ll get new scoring trends and averages, but overall this seemed like a pretty low scoring week (for 9 of us). After a few weeks we should have a better sense for what is normal.
With all the new teams, it may be tough for me to keep up with these writeups or they may come later in the week.
McCaffeinated 205.02, Magic Mike Evans 78.90
It’s probably a bad sign when your number 1 pick – the player you decide to name your team after – is out of the game due to a hurricane. After that, things only got worse for Magic Mike Evans. They would have been better off starting a QB who was off for the
hurricane than Andy Dalton. “Bad Andy” showed up this week putting up the first negative score of the year in what ESPN says is the 3rd worst QB performance in the history of their QBR rating (back to 2006). Early picks Demarco Murray and Isaiah Crowell disappointed as well. But it really didn’t matter how well the Magic Men played because they were facing a juggernaut. McCaffeinated started with over 45 points from rookie Kareem Hunt, then continued to pour on points all weekend to claim the first weekly high score. In addition Hunt, they had the top two scoring WRs and tied for the top Defense in the league. The margin of victory in this game was more than all but 3 other teams scored in total.
pUSHing Chains 112.94, McCownasty 99.78
After basking in the glory of last year’s championship all off-season, McCownasty met the harsh reality of 2017 as soon as the season started. Early picks Tom Brady and Brandin Cooks laid an egg on the Thursday night opener, but with the return of 2016’s top player David Johnson, things still seemed manageable, right? Johnson was fairly pedestrian for most of his game, but he’s had so many big 4th quarters it still seemed like things would still be ok when he caught a 24 yard pass near the goal line. But then he didn’t get up. With a wrist injury sending him for at least 8 weeks and returning “hopefully by… Christmas”, things suddenly look dire for the returning champs. It doesn’t help that Several other starters (Joe Mixon, Tyler Eifert, Kelvin Benjamin) also stunk up the joint. pUSHing Chains had a nice solid outing from several starters, and combined with the poor showing from McCownasty, it was enough to pull out the win, despite starting Fat Eddie Lacy and his 3 yards instead of Mike Gillislee and his 3 TDs.
Fournettecation 133.54, Breaking Bad 127.14
Autopick strikes again. Last year, several autopick selections led Anand’s team to the championship. This year, at least for 1 week, the autopick selection of Leonard Fournette worked out as well as the rookie piled up carries against the hapless Texans. But the real team MVP may have been Hurricane Irma, which took out planned starter Jameis Winston allowing replacement pickup Sam Bradford to lead Fournettecation with over 30 points. Tyrell Williams scored just enough in the late Monday game to pull out the close-fought victory. Breaking Bad got balanced but unspectacular scoring led by LeSean McCoy.
Fly Eagles Fly 135.44, Llamageddon 133.42
The runner up (a.k.a. first loser) the last two years, Fly Eagles Fly started the year off right by beating Llamageddon in an extremely close match. The Eagles were led by their eponymous defense, and got a big game from Todd Gurley as well to jump out to a big early lead. The Llamas had balanced scoring but with no player topping 20 points they fell 2 points short of making up the difference.In what is probably a blessing in disguise, the Eagles have been relieved of having to watch Allen Robinson attempt to catch the “passes” thrown by Blake Bortles thanks to an ACL injury to the WR.
Game of the Week
Make the Racial Slurs Great Again 115.34, Plan XVII 113.72
MRGA really doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, but I guess it’s better than McCownasty so we’ll roll with it. The Fantasy Redskins fared far better than the NFL Redskins this week as they squeaked out the closest victory of the week. Aaron Rodgers led the way with only 18.54 points, and Mark Ingram piled on a few garbage time catches to build up just enough of a lead to hold off the Seventeeners. Plan XVII lived up to the heritage of their namesake – French military strategy – as they open the season with a
surrender loss. Plan 17 had the high scorer of the game with Adam Thielen’s big monday night performance, but Frank Gore, LeVeon Bell, Greg Olsen, and the Vikings defense all stunk. Keenan Allen tried to make the miracle late Monday comeback but fell just short.
Questionable Move of the Week
With the results of the first week, I’m tempted to say it’s the 6 holdover owners for letting all the new guys in so they could win the league, but this one has to go to Dmitry for benching Mike Gillislee. It’s bad enough that the 3rd highest scoring RB in the league and his 22+ points were left on the bench, but the fact that it was to put Fat Eddie Lacy into the lineup is definitely….questionable.